Saturday, February 16, 2008

CIA to Force Terrorists to Run for Office

Thanks to the ingenuity of Presidential hopefuls Mike Huckabee and Rudy Giuliani, the CIA has a new enhanced interrogation method. Suspected terrorists will be forced to board a bus and live the sleepless campaign life.

HUCKABEE (on CNN): I’m finding just out how long I can go sleep deprived. You know, running for office is sort of like being waterboarded, I think.

RUDY GIULIANI: And I see, when the Democrats are talking about torture, they’re not just talking about even this definition of waterboarding, which again, if you look at the liberal media and you look at the way they describe it, you could say it was torture and you shouldn’t do it. But they talk about sleep deprivation. I mean, on that theory, I’m getting tortured running for president of the United States. That’s plain silly. That’s silly.

Crank up the straight talk bus, there are terror plots to uncover. What happens if a suspected terrorist chokes on the entrée on the rubber chicken circuit? Who will give them the Heimlich maneuver? Will it be Rudy or Mike?

A lesson here is don't discount the power of American innovation from our Presidential hopefuls. They just helped the CIA enhance their interrogation methods. A big round of applause for the boys, and make it extra loud and long. We can't have them snagging a nap...