Friday, September 28, 2007

Fight Climate Change Like Terrorism Says Condi

U.S. Secretary of State indicated America would shift its efforts to fighting terror to coincide with its climate change strategies. From now on all baggage and personal searches in airports will be voluntary. The Bush administration will request permission to monitor your phone calls, e-mails and bank accounts. "If voluntary methods are good enough for the climate change fight, and immunizing people against the flu, then they're good enough for terrorism", said Sec. Rice.

All suspected terrorists are encouraged to voluntarily register with the State Department. However, in the future they may be able to trade "carbon life form credits" with well behaving citizens. This provides an overall acceptable level of damage while providing the financial incentive to "not terrorize". Is this all clear? In case you don't get it: Terror=climate change=global disease fight. At least, that's what Condi says...