Tuesday, September 23, 2008

D.C.'s Morning vs. N.Y.'s Evening Theater

The Senate Banking Committee hearing on Bush's financial bailout of Wall Street occupied throngs the early part of the day. Audiences clapped for their gallant Senatorial heroes, daring to challenge the bailout boys over their nonspecific plan to rescue illiquid assets. Gasps were heard when people learned "troubled assets" included credit derivatives, second liens, student loans, credit card debt, and car loans.

Why did Bush's F-Troop load up the plan with all that non mortgage related lending? Because, poor people don't buy $900,000 credit default swaps on $10 million of Goldman Sachs' credit. Well, it turns out the rich don't either. That's why the credit marked evaporated the last week or so. Rich people don't tolerate payday loan rates for peace of mind on their debt.

So the troubled asset stew grew more sour, and decidedly low income with the addition of the common people's debt. The five hour, one act Senate play ended with F-Troop fleeing the room as Senators prepared pots of tar and tore open pillows for feathers.

This evening's theater focuses on Persian barbarians and what the world plans to do to contain this immediate threat to its very existence. It turns out their 5 foot 4 inch President is really a 2 mile wide, dense chunk of rock hurling at the Earth at breakneck speed. Either that, or he's a super volcano ready to blow. Purchase your tickets, the show should be grand...